Oh, my gosh…I can’t believe he remembered!
It’s quite an unexpected, but very pleasant surprise. The fact that he remembered that today is my birthday, even though I probably only mentioned it in passing a while ago, makes my heart flutter more than it probably should, but I don’t care. I’m happy.
Considering my extremely mundane and painfully predictable birthday history—with today being no exception—there’s no way I can take his thoughtfulness for granted.
Still, I’m not about to tell him that everyone in my real life would much rather hang out with their lovers tonight than celebrate my birthday with me. I already feel lame as it is.
And even if we technically don’t know each other, I don’t want him to feel that way about me, too.
Tinaturner94: lol, no I’m at my dorm. I’m not feeling too well so I opted to stay in.
V: oh no, that sucks 🙁 .
I can’t stop the sigh that escapes my lips. You don’t know the half of it.
V: will you be alright?
Tinaturner94: yeah, I’ll be fine. it’s just a slight fever.
V: you sure? are you by yourself?
Tinaturner94: yes and yes
V: you should at least have someone with you if you’re sick, Tina
I feel my chest constrict. This man, who’s technically still a stranger even if it doesn’t feel like it, and whose only connection to me is a stream of keyboard conversations, seems to care more about my happiness and well-being than most of the people around me.
Maybe I’m reading into it too much, but I can’t shake off how deeply his concern is affecting me.
I want to tell him that I’d feel a hell of a lot better if I had him with me, that I’d heal right up if I saw his face or heard his voice, but instead, I suppress the strong urge to do so.
I may very well be lonely and desperate right now, but I don’t want to steer myself toward a path of delusions and lies.
As much as I wish this connection between us was a real, tangible thing happening in the flesh, the simple fact of the matter is that it’s not. At the end of the day, V is just part of a fantasy. Nothing more, nothing less. And I need to act accordingly.
Tinaturner94: really, I’m good. nothing I can’t handle 🙂
V: you sure?
There’s a considerable pause, and I’m thinking of something to say when I hear the notification sound again.
V: well I’m gonna let you get some rest. I hope you get a chance to go out and celebrate when you’re better 🙂
I realize he’s about to leave, and it makes me panic, even if it’s out of his consideration for me.
In haste, my fingers dash across the keyboard, hitting the plastic keys with record speed as if my very life depends on it.
Tinaturner94: wait…maybe there’s something you can do to help me feel better 😉
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